Thirteen ways of being your immortality (3)

There came over me the most terrific sense of purpose and focus.  It rose up in me like my father's ghost. I saw the book in it. The sametime passions for exile and belonging. Yeah, I was some high yellow bohemian liberal living in hedonism heaven, winning. And the prize raised up in me this absolutely authentic and heartfelt desire to speak/what should be spoken for all of us. I knew the bullshit of my own life, its twists and flipouts, yet I felt now some heavy responsibility. If these bastards were gonna raise me up, for any reason, then they would pay for it. I would pay these motherfuckers back in kind, I'd be strong enough to s p e a k what had to be said for all of us, for black people, yes particularly black people, because they were the root and origin of my conviction, but also for anyone, anywhere, who wanted justice. Is this a man imitating a movie star? In a quarantine of lights. Marvelous scandal: We are reborn.