Wednesday, January 7, 2015

How to recover from addiction to white supremacy (1)

We walked around that desert, and held our screams in check
and the objective stance from which I we   attempt  to love them      the tender wintering of the W Hotel   bar / seminary   / that picture of James Baldwin,  eyes rising like Gershwin  scams,   not scams,     mercies   , above  the   God is Love sign, the camera, the muggy autograph of spectators       the chimera  the crime  my husband  commits to become my hero     living in Hollywood    obsessed with adultery   as the one true  thing  bringing us  closer  to Africa   and persian rugs,   did we want to come closer     the billboard  on Sunset tallies   ebola  deaths     in Africa  snug empire  of regretlessness     did we need to know  more about the   west       and not just as   middle class negroes  who go    to one of their colleges   and come back crazy / enlightened    wondering  what to do with this immense  wealth, this education     still acting like a slave    —  But love builds up   anyways   even passion       until we master  the art  of oppressing ourselves  with them    with love and passion       and even  subtlety   matted in      the alien language  of another   tribe    no longer  satisfies        have we exploited our  own suffering  for long enough   to transcend   it   yet        are there any brown  children playing   in the   snow  on purpose      that imperceptible grecian approval is  so gratifying   I   almost   realign   with its domesticity    just  to   grieve

our blind leader  crossing over   from preacher  to pimp    is one way    

while the strippers become praise dancers  in  a prank     pink knees and   needs   and

Amiri Baraka weeping and reading Ulysses until he gets kicked out of the Airforce   on purpose  

oppression the shape  of fame