The vogued antidepressant apathy or its cousin pseudo hip indifference with an artistic element/ that nauseating disaffected affect like capitalism but I’m black so catch a rabbit with me pet its hung foot while I get this money which is really fear transmuted to shame and deep-rooted insecurity transmuted to numb and here come Uncle Tom n nem talking about their institutional situation peddling the scum on their vaseline always reaching for a victim searching all the kitchens for someone to coerce into mere representation and the gall to convince them they enjoy it, that it keeps them safe from the nodding epiphany of the real self but finally suffering is the distance between your knowledge and your action measured in quiet complicity emotional stinginess and brick buildings and if you just let the trumpet shatter that constipated grin if you let the shadow in you’ll find that going crazy in a society of sick men is actually a symptom of healing that they call falling in love with your beautiful black self and admitting it truly embodying it crazy a betrayal and keep it just enough at bay that sometimes you don’t even notice the rage of self-denial in its helpless demolition of all of your inner resources and so as the cop held the mortally wounded black man and asked him who did this to you while he bled out from the bullet wound fuck you
were that man’s last words, a red river down the gendarme’s arms I should care, and I do
